A Guide To How To Annoy Your Ex
So you’re basically recovering from a big split. Your former love decided to walk away from the relationship and has left you stranded, upset and humiliated. You need to seek revenge on him. Whatever you do you want to make him suffer and feel a little of what you’ve had to go through because of him. Stuck for ideas of how to annoy your ex? Then read our list of tasks you could do to really get up his snout.
Don’t go OTT. Remember a few subtle tasks will really annoy him but without anyone else really noticing what you are doing. If you go the whole hog and obsessively annoy him you could end up losing friends and potential future boyfriends. After all you don’t want people to think you’re a complete nutter. Just play it cool and watch him squirm!
- Find a new man who will have an upper edge over him. Make sure your ex knows how happy you are and that your new boyfriend is older than he is, or smarter, or better looking, or sportier, or wealthier etc. etc. You can see where I’m going with this. Your ex will instantly feel threatened and realise that he isn’t all that big and mighty!
- Date their best friend, brother, cousin or even worse…their rival. That’ll really put him in an awkward situation. And the best thing would be that they couldn’t do a thing about it!
- If you ever meet up with your ex again, tell him that you now agree that he did the best thing possible. Make sure he knows that you have since progressed and become a much better person since the split. That’ll really annoy him – knowing that his action has actually helped you even more than himself!
- Tell him you were given two free tickets to a major event. For example tickets to see their favourite football team, or favourite band. Maybe a festival or even their favourite holiday destination. Tell him that you would have asked him to join you but you didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable with the situation. He will instantly feel peeved that he missed out on the opportunity. He’ll probably regret he ever split from you as well - even if it was just to go to the event. He’ll still probably wonder if he made the right decision of breaking away from the relationship.
- If he has a part-time job, try and get a job at the same place. He’ll feel really uncomfortable that you are treading over his territory. Then, if you are lucky enough to get the job, proceed to have fun!
If you are still at the stage where you feel ready to take revenge on your ex but still can’t face even being in the same class at school with him, let alone looking at him or even talking to him then these next few ideas may be best.
You can still annoy him but without having to be in contact with him.
- Keep his Cds, Videos and Computer Games until he begs for them back. If you stay clear of him and make sure he knows that you are upset then he probably won’t ever have the guts to ask for them back! At least you may get something out of the ordeal - free gifts!
- Try to resist the temptation of signing him on to strange mailing lists. Otherwise he'll become absolutely baffled as to why and where he is getting this junk mail from. His parents may also get a bit worried about their loving son when they see all of the weird and wonderful post he is receiving.
- Marry a millionaire or a celebrity. Or even better become one yourself. In years to come when he sees your face plastered over the front pages of magazines and at all the film premieres, he’ll be absolutely gutted that he’d have ever thought you weren’t good enough for the likes of an ordinary person like himself.
Whatever you decide to do, make sure it is harmless fun and a little humiliating to your ex. Don’t go psycho-mad and end up being examined to see if you’ve lost your marbles completely!
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