When I'm Ready!
Having sex is a big decision, but you need to feel ready and comfortable with the person you intend to do it with first. Remember it's illegal to have sex under the age of 16 in the UK.
Pressured Into Having Sex
It's sometimes the case that a lad will pressure his girlfriend into having sex before she is ready. If you feel you are in this position, you need to be honest and say that you don't want to lose your virginity yet.
If your boyfriend accepts this then you know you have someone special that cares deeply about your welfare, but on the other hand this may anger him. It could be that he feels you don't trust him or like him enough to get that close to him. Reassure your boyfriend by explaining why - perhaps you feel you don't know him well enough, or maybe you just want more information on protection before you go ahead and have sex. If you boyfriend still does not agree to slow down, you're probably better off without him and his selfish attitude.
What About Protection?
Sex may be an enjoyable experience but before you do it make sure you are clear on the benefits of using a condom. Using protection will shield you from STI's (sexually transmitted infections) and unwanted pregnancy. There is an emergency pill which can be prescribed by a doctor or bought from a chemist to stop a developing pregnancy, but a condom offers much more protection for both of you - as well as peace of mind - so use one!
Will My Boyfriend Tell All His Mates?
Some boys will tell their friends about having sex because they think it makes them look big, but this proves he is not mature enough for a sexual relationship and you deserve someone better. Make it clear that you do not want everyone to know about it and you would rather it was just something special between you and him. Just remember that this one works both ways, so resist the temptation to tell your friends too.
Before you have sex with anyone its important you feel you can trust him or her, that you are in a loving relationship, and that you know your relationship will be stronger because of your decision.
If you are scared that your boyfriend or girlfriend will get bored of you after having sex with you, there is no point going ahead with sex in the first place.
No one will be able to tell you have lost your virginity, unless you tell them, and you don't need to have sex again unless you feel comfortable doing so.
It's your body, your life, and your decision!
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Family Planning Association
Tel: 0171 837 4044
Remember!!! - Having Heterosexual sex under the age of 16 in the UK is illegal