My Best Friend

If I had to identify the worst feeling in the world it would be losing your best friend. This happened to me just over a month ago. My friend Bethany was diagnosed with leukaemia when we were in Grade 7. We weren't friends at that point; we just hung around the same people at school. She was lucky enough to receive a bone marrow transplant in the fall of that same year, while the rest of us were in Grade.8. After she came out of isolation she continued with her schoolwork and was at our Grade.8 graduation, and attended most of our first year of high school, Grade 9. In Grade.10, Bethany and I started doing things together on weekends, and at lunch we'd go to her locker, then mine before heading to our afternoon classes. That's one of the things I really miss most about her. She was always there for me.

On May 5th Beth wasn't at school. She had a class with my sister and they had a project due on Monday, so she phoned her to see if she had the work at home with her. Beth's mom told her she was inSick Kid's Hospital in Toronto. We went away for the weekend, and came home on Sunday May 7th.That was Beth's 16th birthday. At around eight o'clock Beth's mom phoned me and told me to get the work for my sister's project from Beth's locker.

I asked how Beth was, and she told me she was fine. Then she asked to talk to my mom. That's when I knew that it was back. I was devastated. I cried and cried. Since Beth had already had a bone marrow transplant, she couldn't have another one, or have chemotherapy or radiation. The only hope was to try to put her back into remission, something they could only try once.The odd day Beth would be well enough to come to school, and she was there the day I did a Track and Field presentation for my English ISU. Some of the kids in the class had to mark it, and she gave me an excellent mark, and said she really liked it. She was always thinking of me when I had meets, and always asking how I had done. When I had friends over for my birthday she told her stepsister how excited she was about coming. That morning though, her mom phoned and told me she was having a bad day. I felt really bad, especially when I found out how much she had been looking forward to it. She always loved doing stuff with all her friends, whether it was going to the mall, or watching a movie.

The school year came to an end and she was still hanging in there. She even came to my house and we had a sleepover. We had a blast swimming and watching movies. We stayed up till twelve o'clock, and then she talked for two hours straight while I listened. She had so many great stories to tell. She could have been a great writer. Then when I was about to pass out from exhaustion, I asked her if we could just go to sleep now. If I had to take one thing that I have done back, that would be it. I was away for most of July, and I phoned from my cottage one day to find out that she was back in the hospital and would not be coming home. Our sleepover was the last time we did anything together. And I asked her to stop talking so I could sleep.

My friend Lyndsey and I went to visit her in the hospital on August 2nd.
It was the first time I had ever seen someone that I knew could die any day. She was on a lot of drugs and getting platelets all the time. Shewas blind in one eye, but she still read the cards we brought her and herwonderful personality still shone out even though her mutterings made no sense and were hard to understand. That was the last time I saw her alive.

On August 11th Bethany died at McMaster hospital in Hamilton, Ontario. I found out at approximately 11:00 on the 12th. My friend Lyndsey had been out to their house to take Beth a card, and Jacob, Beth's brother had told her the news. I had to work that afternoon, so I managed to collect myself. At the visitation I seemed to be one of the ones taking it well. Even through the funeral I only cried when a slide show of pictures was shown and the song "With You in Your Dreams" by Hanson was played. Following the internment at the cemetery, it finally really hit me. We had to leave, but she was staying there. Alone. All by herself.

I think of Beth all the time. When I think about things we did, and the fun we had. I can't go a day without seeing or hearing something that reminds me of her. She was a super person, and I was lucky to have her for a friend. I hope I was as good a friend to her as she was to me. I do have one trouble in my heart however. As I told you, Bethany was my best friend. I never got a chance to tell her that though. I don't know if she knew or not. I won't until I see her in Heaven. I know she will be there because she had a very strong faith in God and Jesus Christ. I hope Beth somehow knew how much she meant to me. It's so hard to go through the day not knowing. I don't think I will ever be at peace with her death. I hope everyone who reads this realises just how precious life is, and that when you have someone that you care about, you tell them. Tell them all the time so they never forget, and never doubt it being true.

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- Julia