Top Tips to being Assertive, not Aggressive! There is a huge difference between being Assertive and getting w hat you want, and being aggressive and getting a smack in the gob, follow our top tips to getting your point across: - Try not to shout, its the easiest way to get people angry, try and keep calm and focussed on the point you are trying to put across
- Try and be as truthful as possible, lying or exaggerating will not help you
- Don't back down, if you are right, and someone is trying to pull a fast one on you, then stick to your guns!
- Keep your language as clean as possible, just try to portray a strong image, going overboard on the swear words doesn't help ;)
- Keep your distance from the person you are talking to, it sounds stupid but most people have an imaginary area of 'personal space' about 1 metre around them, to keep things calm its best to keep out of it!
- If you are asking for something, or trying to get someone to do something for you, be specific, say 'Lets meet at 8pm at mine' instead of 'lets meet sometime'
- If you want to disagree with someone, disagree civilly, dont just agree (or disagree) for the sake of it; be nice :)
- If you have a particular message or point to give to someone, tell it to them directly, its best to do it face to face.
- Try and keep your body language calm, dont wave your arms about, point or push the person(s) you're talking to, not a good move if you want to appear non-aggressive.
- Most importantly, if you feel you are losing your cool, stop and count to 10; it sounds stupid, but it works!
Also in Being Positive... Check out the Being Positive links page for useful sites and agencies... Being Positive Homepage
Building Self-Esteem
Oli's Story
Top 10 Tips to Assertiveness
Thinking Positive
Confidence Building
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