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Self Harm –The Facts Written by Students from Sir Charles Lucas School
Reasons for Self Harm
Different people self harm for different reasons, but a 2003 Samaritans report (www.samaritans.org.uk) suggested that the most common reason young people self harmed was “to find relief from a terrible situation”. Below are some examples of why people might turn to self harm.
Self hatred - some people self harm to punish themselves. If they believe something is their fault, they may self harm to release bad feelings.
Bullying - when people keep saying or doing horrible things to someone they start to believe that they are worthless, and might punish themselves by self harming.
Abuse - physical, sexual or emotional abuse sometimes makes people want to damage parts of their body which remind them of their abuse.
Showing pain - if someone finds it hard to talk to people about how they feel, they may self harm as a way of showing that they are hurting inside.
Pressure - expectations (about appearance or schoolwork for example) may lead someone to self harm because they feel powerless. Self harm may relieve these feelings by easing tension.
Unbearable feelings - jealousy; grief; sadness; fear; anger; alienation; depression; frustration; tension; anxiety; shame; confusion; panic etc. If someone feels that they are not able to control their emotions, self harming might seem like a way of regaining some control over their life.
Numbness - if someone blocks out unbearable feelings by becoming numb, the pain caused by self harm is a way of reminding them that their body can still feel something.
It is important not to confuse self harm with attempted suicide; many self harmers say that they are trying to cope with life, not end it. Some people may use self harm as a way of grounding themselves in the real world.
Alternative Ways of Coping With Emotional Distress
If someone is feeling so awful that they self harm, they are unlikely to stop unless they find other ways of coping. Here are some alternative ways of dealing with difficult emotions.
- Using a punchbag or a beanbag can help get rid of angry thoughts.
- Exercise, like running or playing football, can help relieve stress.
- Writing down feelings in a letter, poem, diary or story can help get them out of your system.
- Pampering yourself by having a nice bubble bath or facial can help you feel better about yourself and your body.
- Buying yourself a treat can cheer you up.
- Reading can help you escape your feelings for a while, as can films and music.
- Good company can cheer you up and help you get your feelings into perspective.
- Good friends can remind you that you are worth something and that they care about you.
- Painting, pottery, photography and drawing can help you express yourself creatively.
- Making a tape when you feel happy to play when you feel bad helps to remind you of your good points.
- Talking to someone you trust might help you find solutions to problems.
- Ringing a helpline could help you get confidential support – see the links section.
- Relaxing exercise like yoga or tai chi can help you feel calmer.
- Dancing or gym can help you feel more energetic.
- Finding someone who can give you a safe hug might help comfort you.
Anything which helps you express your feelings will help you feel a little bit better, and more able to cope with negative emotions with other people’s support. Over time, this should reduce the likelihood of self harm seeming like a good option.
-Sir Charles Lucas School pupiline Task Group.
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