If You Can’t Beat Them, Understand Them

Bullying destroys lives. In a quest to understand why we are being bullied, we focus on our perceived faults. It’s because we are fat, thin, spotty, short, bespectacled, ugly, shy, disabled, or different. We tell ourselves that we cannot fit in, that everybody hates us, that we must change in order to be accepted. As a result we become isolated and frightened and believe that we are not good enough for this life. We forget that we are spiritual beings, that we are perfect just as we are, and that we deserve to take up as much space on the planet as everyone else. We don’t realise that there is more to the experience of living the life of a human being than we are aware of with our limited senses.

Bullying is about the abuse of power, like rape or war. It lies in the domain of the ego, which has become separated from the soul. Bullies feel powerless and afraid in their lives and they mistakenly believe that they must gain power by stealing it from others. But the joke is on them. The type of power they seek is external power, which is an illusion – it does not exist. They may spend their whole lives trying to make other people feel bad so that they can feel good in the pursuit of something that can never fulfil them. What a pitiful existence.

Authentic power arises from the soul and is limitless. It involves treating other living things the way you would like to be treated, with love and acceptance. It is available to everyone at all times, and is the key to freedom from suffering. You can use this type of empowerment to get what you want in life without hurting anyone or anything. You cannot change or control the world that you live in, but you can change and control your reactions to the world.

Bullies can only gain power from you if they see that you are affected by their behaviour, so do not be drawn into their games. You can’t beat them and you don’t want to join them, so try to understand them for the weak cowards that they are and spend time with people who accept you and are worth your time. Bullies can only affect your life if you let them. And remember that they are targeting you because you have something that they want. Talk about your feelings to anyone who will listen, and look for the lessons that are there to be learned.

The lessons in life are only revealed when we look back, and adversity makes us stronger individuals in time. Tell yourself every day that you are a wonderful and powerful person with enviable qualities, and give no importance to anyone who says otherwise. Your destiny is in your hands, and you deserve to be happy.

By Lisa