Everybody Wants To Be A Superhero

What with the new X-Men causing a 'storm' in the States and about to do the same on these shores, the world of Superheroes has again been in the focus of the media ,and is the 'big buzz' amongst those Hollywood players, whose current attitude is 'if its been in a comic get it on the screen'. Comic book heroes have always been a favourites to put into a movie, but the recent catastrophes of movies based on these characters, in particular the horrendous 'Batman and Robin', dampened the enthusiasm of the movie moguls. However with the success so far of the X-Men movie it seems that the green light has been lit for a whole host of comic character capers to come to life on the big screen. Here at pupiline, we feel, at this very appropriate time, that there are few characters that should once again hit the screen and a few that definitely should not.

The Top 5 Heroes Everyone Wants To See On The Silver Screen

FLASH GORDON: Hands up who remembers the high camp-ness of the eighties film of Flash Gordon, to be honest it's in the top.20 of my fave films of all time. If you do remember it, you all must think, IT NEEDS A SEQUEL, it was left on a cryptic edge in the last scene by a caption saying THE END? OOOOOOHHHH SPOOKY, what happens, I need to know and so do legions of followers.

SUPERMAN: The man of steel has already made five appearances in the guise of Christopher Reeve, but is always strongly rumoured to be making a timely re-appearance. The man who wears Y-fronts outside his fetching tights was to be portrayed by Nic Cage, but he has now washed his hands of the whole thing and rumours are thick and flowing on the state of a new film, but unfortunately nothing is concrete.

SPIDERMAN: If anyone can remember, I do, there was a live action film made on a budget of about £2.50 in the late 1970's, and it had incredibly hi-Tec action sequences, or NOT. However it was very cool in a kitsch way and has a cult following, but those of you who only like big bucks in their blockbusters will hate it. You will probably prefer the update, which we can confirm, after talking to pupiline's very own gossip seeker The Hunter, is now being filmed with hot new tip Toby Maguire (Pleasantville) taking the Peter Parker/man in the web-suite lead role. With Titanic dictator, sorry, I mean director, James Cameron, dumping the film and Evil Dead man Sam Raimi at the helm it looks like old tea-strainer eyes could be a bit of a winner.

THE HULK: After the TV movies of the Eighties, which we all remember don't we, What Do You Mean No? the Hulk seemed destined to languish in TV hell obscurity. Can Hollywood rescue him, well after rumours of a project involving Reservoir Dog Mr Pink- Steve Buscemi died into nothing, new rumours shave surfaced naming Brendan Fraser, Liz Hurley and a sixty million budget, the world awaits with baited breath.

THE SILVER SURFER: Now here is a legend of the comic books, the surfer dude every expiring sixties hippie boy/girl wants to be, if they're sad enough to think of being a superhero, but I bet everybody does, secretly. The Silver One is still an untapped source and has mouth-watering potential for a big screen blockbuster, with a cult edge. Seven writer Andrew Walker has penned script, so for all us surfer/hippie wannabes, our hopes are firmly on the epitome of cool Superhero.

The Top 5 'Heroes' We Never, Ever Want To See Again, Even If The World Is In Danger

JUDGE DREDD: Yes, admittedly it's from a classic comic and could have been fab, but some moron let Stallone do it and look what happened, THE PURE DICTIONARY DEFINITION OF A TURKEY, DON'T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN. Also which idiot let Stallone remake Get Carter coming out this Winter, it looks utter tripe and is pointless remake of a classic and we all know what happens when they do this, 1 WORD, PSYCHO.

TANK GIRL: See above, but without Stallone, a pointless stinker of a film that caused the destruction of many careers associated with it. Plus it had Ice-T as a Kangaroo/Man Beast, yes you heard me right, but maybe that's actually quite a good point from this dire effort.

HOWARD THE DUCK: Right, your name is George Lucas, you've conceived two of the finest cinema releases of the Twentieth Century,  Indiana Jones and a certain film about Wars in the Stars, so what do you do next. Well you certainly don't have a superhero duck who falls to Earth to save all of mankind, or do you, YES, YOU DO, WHY OH WHY? A huge flop for the bearded one and rightfully so, unfunny and downright stupid.

THE PHANTOM: A director, producers, financiers and a studio wanted to see Billy Zane in ridiculous purple Spandex. AUDIENCES DIDN'T, WHY NOT? I hear you cry, well just repeat the first line over and over till you can stop crying with tears of laughter due to the horrific vision you have in your head…… Do you see why now? the people with the money obviously couldn't.

DICK TRACY: The only film that stars brill actor Al Pacino that gives me serious pain when I watch it. Why? Because it brings back a pre-teen memory of being bored to tears in a stuffy cinema in the middle of July. Thinking the whole time I could be out in the sun playing footie but I'm watching this crap and the seat is the most uncomfortable it's ever felt in a cinema………. Sorry got lost there, but its not just me it's an awful film and should be left well alone.

by ChrisM